How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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