just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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