Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.

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(631): View more from New York

Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?

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(713): View more from Texas

She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon

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(860): View more from Connecticut

This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

(1-678): View more from Georgia

...

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(636): View more from Missouri

I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...

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(802): View more from Vermont

Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?

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(613): View more from Ontario

excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...

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