i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Four minutes until I can fart!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
