I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
