ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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