So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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