I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize