My brain says no but my pants say off.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There r osticjed everywhere
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
