Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
