Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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