For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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