how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
