so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
