So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
