I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We have started to decorate penises.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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