It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i am craving dick and cupcakes
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
