Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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