So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm passing your future prison.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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