So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
