I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
