just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
