yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
