like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
