We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
