R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
