forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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