yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
