It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize