Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize