Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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