I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
