i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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