He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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