she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
