Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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