Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
