We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
