i think i have herpe
just one?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
