The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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