My pussy is not your playground.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
