laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
