Plan B is the new Plan A
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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