cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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