I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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