the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
