i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
