Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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