we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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