Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
