Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
