the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
