Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
