we're blogging at a bar
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
