Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
