she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
