Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
this boner is exhausting
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
