That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
