i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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