why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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