Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize