so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Randomize