so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize