I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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