Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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