so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
