i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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