everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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