Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
