I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
